At thirteen years old, I was sexually abused and had a child.
The perpetrator was a person I knew, and when the case went to court it was a mentally draining experience for me. My love for poetry began as an outlet to express my emotions after someone encouraged me to write as many poems as I could. Poetry helped me find my voice.
JUSTICE NOT SERVED
I used to feel much older than my actual sixteen years, something that other people would also tell me. I rarely smiled or laughed, but instead I would often have crying episodes for no reason. I never expected anything good to come out of me, and I never believed that someone with a past like mine would be successful until I met Freely in Hope. It was at FIH’s biannual retreat that I was given a chance to showcase my poetry. I never imagined that later, I would host big events like talent shows and International Day of The Girl Child conference for over 300 high school students.
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My growth, which is easily noticeable, can be attributed to Freely in Hope’s leadership trainings and holistic programs. For the first time in my life, I was not worried about the opinions of others, but instead I had the freedom to be myself. I came to understand that everyone is unique in their own way, and that being authentic makes it easier for people to help you heal. I now look younger than my age and I feel so beautiful. I have a sense of family belonging, especially when people share their stories at the retreats or during the Eneza program. I can now share my story boldly to help other survivors and young mothers, showing that they are not alone and they have a place to belong.
SHARING MY STORY MAKES ME FEEL STRONG; I AM NO LONGER THE GIRL THAT USED TO CRY ALL THE TIME, I HAVE BECOME SELF-DRIVEN, AND I TRY MY BEST TO COMPLETE TASKS INDEPENDENTLY. I AM A ROLE MODEL FOR YOUNGER ONES AND I HAVE GROWN TO LOVE MY CHILD WHO HAS BECOME MY MOTIVATION.
Healing is a process and I am in that process. Part of the journey towards healing is forgiveness. All of those years going to court—the humiliation, ridicule, and mockery that my mother and I endured—led to unfavorable judgment. All we wanted was justice but the perpetrator was acquitted on grounds of legal technicalities. At this moment, I am unable to forgive because I feel that justice was not served.
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HEALING CAN BE FOUND
I am studying Counseling Psychology so that I will be able to understand myself better and help others who feel hopeless. I hope to work with survivors of sexual abuse in my community, encouraging them to speak out and tell their story. I will be an advocate and will walk with them towards justice if that is where their healing can be found. Even though I didn’t receive justice in my case, I will still use my story to bring positive change to the world.
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