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I used to dream of a community where children could grow up not feeling afraid. Where women didn’t have to scream every night. Where survivors could rise as leaders and lean into their lived experiences to bring the change they wanted to see. The dream didn’t come from some abstract place, it came from living in Kibera, from knowing what it feels like when poverty exposes girls to vulnerabilities, from understanding firsthand what happens when children don’t have the language to recognize violence as it’s happening to them.

The “survivor complex” is real, and it deeply impacts the people we walk alongside. The survivor complex is a psychological and relational pattern that develops when a person has survived trauma and begins to relate to themselves primarily through the identity of “survivor.” It often forms because systems, communities, and even support programs repeatedly reinforce this identity, sometimes unintentionally.