“I am a student and a proud mother of Eugene who is 4 years old. I’m currently studying at Kenya Polytechnic University so that I can finish my degree in Counseling Psychology. My hope is to counsel other young women who, like me, have experienced trauma. To other raped women—I encourage you not to abort. That child might be your source of happiness, just as my son is for me.”
“When I opened my eyes, light was peeping from the small window near the bed. I was feeling unusual and in a lot of pain—it was morning. The man warned me to never mention him to anyone.
I had met him on the bus the day before. When I had told him my story—and that I was trying to find my sister in Nairobi—he said she was his friend and neighbor so I followed him home. I am the youngest of 12 children, so as you can imagine, when my aunt called in 2007 saying that she found a job for me in Nairobi, I was very excited. After form four, money ran out for my schooling, so I needed to work to pay my balances. My mother gave me nearly $4 for bus fare to meet my aunt, who was to pick me up from the Machaoks bus station. When I arrived, she wasn’t there. I didn’t have a phone number to reach her, so I waited until dark before trying to find my sister who lived somewhere in the city. I thanked God for the man on the bus, and followed him to his house. When he told me that he went to my sister’s house and the door was locked, my heart was broken. Because it was 11 p.m. and I had nowhere to go, I agreed to spend the night there. He gave me juice, but in the back of my mind I was calculating where I would sleep since he had a single room. When I finished the juice, I started feeling dizzy, tired and very sleepy.
He raped me.
When I awoke, he threatened to kill me and my whole family if I told anyone what happened. He gave me a little bit of money and escorted me back to the bus. He called me all sorts of names and carelessly told me to “go heal my wounds.” I cried so bitterly until I went back to my mother. I couldn’t tell her that I was raped, so I lied and said that a Good Samaritan gave me a place to sleep. I didn’t think she would believe me if I told her; she would probably have thought I did it for money out of desperation. After three months, I showed signs of pregnancy and was forced to tell my mother the truth. When my father heard it, he chased me away and threatened that if I continued living there, he would kill my mother and me. He beat my mother so badly—breaking her arms—so I decided to leave so that my mother could have peace.
Not knowing where to go, I stood in the bus station, crying. A woman saw my tears and wanted to know what was wrong. After hearing my story, she invited me to her house. While I again thanked God, I also feared that something would happen to me. She told me she was a Christian and would give me work in her friend’s shop. I stayed with her until I was able to pay $1.25 a month rent for my own place. I decided to abort the child with the little money that I was earning. The doctor in a nearby clinic gave me medicine and said the fetus would come out sometime at night, but instead I felt a lot of pain throughout the day. I went to the hospital and was given something to neutralize the medicine.
While there, I was counseled not to abort the baby—I was carrying a blessing.
I went back to my house and decided no matter what I would give birth to my child; I knew God would provide for me. By the time I was seven months pregnant, I had bought some utensils in my small house and a scarf to carry my child. I worked hard in a small shop until I was nine months pregnant and the work became too hard. I washed laundry and waited for the day to deliver.
By the grace of God, I delivered my son without complications. I didn’t have any clothes to dress him after birth, but only the scarf I bought. When I told the doctors the whole story, they gave me money to buy food. My son and I left for our home early in the morning. After three days, I had to leave my child in the house to search for money. I went to where I used to wash clothes and was given a job. I was in a lot of pain, but had no option but to work. I continued living like that until my child grew up. The man from the bus—the rapist—reappeared one day and told me that he knew every detail about my family and if I at any time talked to the police, I should be ready to lose everyone. I had no option but to abide. Eventually, I got another job selling spare parts where I earned about $38 per month. I also continued washing part-time. After two years, I had saved $25 and my mother gave me $75 so I could begin college.
The man heard that I was attending the University, and resolved to destroy my life. In May 2010, I came home from school and saw him at my doorstep. He said, “I have raped 101 women after I raped you.” He grabbed me and I fought back while he beat me. The man said if I didn’t have sex with him, he would kill my baby. A neighbor heard me scream and came to my rescue. I took my baby back to the village to my mother but soon brought him back home. I feared my father would kill my baby because I had him out of wedlock.
I hope when I am done with my studies that I can find a decent paying job so I can afford my son’s education and take care of my mother who has helped me this far. To other raped women—I encourage you not to abort.
